You may have noticed there have been minimal entries on this
blog. Starting today, that is going to
change. Funny, I have seen too many
entries in stale blogs that started this way, the blogger regretting not
posting as much and perhaps not writing as much?
There are reasons for not posting
which I will describe in some detail for you.
I’ve been writing for this blog and have a few that I may post at a
later date, but I wanted to get this one out today. I’ve thought about it for a few weeks and
here we go.
Ali and I are in the process of a
divorce. A former therapist and perhaps
an attorney would suggest I use the phrase, “We have come to a mutual decision
that our marriage should come to an end.”
Sounds formal. It does not
explain what occurred or why or who is to blame. Let me be clear, I accept responsibility for
my behavior that led to this “mutual decision.”
Let’s move on.
Instead of explaining what happened,
I would like to say that I appreciate the years I had with Ali. I was a witness, watching a shy 18-year-old
teenager become an articulate and strong woman.
I watched how she grew from a timid and insecure young mother, not sure
if our children would love her - to a mom with wealth of knowledge, love and
compassion. The children adore their
mom. I want to say, thank you for your
mothering and raising four incredible individuals.
I want to thank her for the years
we had together. There were some rough
patches when my fear and insecurities were evident and I was harsh to her and
the children at times. I would not put
myself in the category as abusive, but on occasions I was harsh.
Throughout the years, we had some amazing
memories, sitting outside in those summer nights and waiting for a shooting
star, sitting in the shallow water and watching the minnow’s nipple on our feet
and legs. Spending time at her
grandparent’s house, learning what being a family was all about - in the Italian
tradition. The decades of New Year’s
Eve’s at her parents, starting at Nana and Pop’s and the trips we took with her
parents into NYC, DC and Baltimore. Add
all of the trips to Disney World, cruises, auto trains, I cherish those times. I miss those times and miss my family.
I was grateful waking up next to
Ali. Not too happy when she woke me up
with her snores, but I enjoyed watching her sleep in. I enjoyed making her laugh which was
difficult to do, but she has a great laugh and when her giggling starts, it
does not stop! I’m going to miss those
opportunities. I hope she shares her laughter will someone else when she feels the time is right.
I am grateful to have had wife like
Ali. She was a good friend and I hope
eventually, we can maintain some kind of friendship. Tomorrow, will be two weeks since we signed
the divorce paperwork. Afterwards, we walked
outside together to the hot parking lot, both of us cried and held each other. I told her that she’s moving on. We’re both moving on. She’s in the process of buying her first
home, within the school district which she serves a board member and keeping
Joe and Bella in-place to graduate with their friends and classmates. She's holding so much together and yet it was time for our marriage to end with the stroke up a pen. In six to eight months, on a cold winter day, we will be officially divorced.
Thank
you for reading this.
