The Immigration Process, my wife is a Costa Rican citizen

5/28/20 22:11

My wife and I have been using ZOOM at night.  We start with WhatsApp, and soon switch to Zoom.  It gives us the ability to work and see one another.  The last time we were together was on March 7.  Covid was starting to take hold in different parts of the world.  I wore a mask at the airport in Mexico City, and yet it seemed the virus was a distant threat.  The same attitude some world leaders regrettably took.  I have permission to work in Mexico City, to be with my wife, but the hospitals in Mexico are not prepared for this crisis.  It may not be a good time to travel there.   Do I want to risk it? There are travel restrictions, essential personal is allowed entry, not tourists.  After checking more details on-line, the restrictions are meant to curtail land entry, but not air.  Maybe in a couple of weeks?  I’ll talk with Meli about this tonight.

The visa process has been on-hold.  Due in part to the government agencies had been closed. 

But honestly, it has been difficult to dedicate time to this process.  One factor may be the way we have led our long distant relationship for these past two years. Things are not that different, although we are married.  It’s the same.  Each day, we wait; it’s another day longer in the process.  It’s that simple. 

Last night, Meli and I discussed structuring our time more effectively.  Which includes making time for the visa process.

Taking action has been my theme for the last few weeks.  Whatever action that may include, family, work, visa, exercise, program, meditation.  I need to take the time.  If I take the time and accomplish my tasks, I will meet my goals.  Sounds simple. 

So, how about it?  I am going to keep a record of what we need to do to accomplish this.  The first task has been completed, contacting Catholic Charities in Allentown who are assisting in the process, check.  Completed.  They asked if I obtained the necessary documents. No check there.  Not yet.  So we are back to square one.

Order my birth certificate from the town, which I was told is easy enough.  I will do this today.

Order proof of my divorce, I tried to go through Suffolk Country offices web site, but the offices were closed and there was not a link to process this request.  In the past, I needed to go to office in Riverhead, which is at the end of Long Island.  I needed the same official paperwork to get married in Costa Rica, and last November I drove out to the offices. I obtained and submitted – all originals to the lawyer who conducted our civil ceremony, my paperwork – our paperwork is stored in a government office in Costa Rica.  I am not getting them back.

Take a passport photo with a blue background?  I will double check on the blue.  I will take care of it this weekend at the local CVS. 

Both my wife and I have been busy at work and we are blessed to have our jobs.  We are both hard workers and now with this blog entry, it will serve as a record keeper, I will record our progress.  And this includes the effects of the Covid-19 virus.

Thank you for reading this.

39,900 feet above Athens, Ga

3/7/20 17:38 39,826 above Georgia

I miss her already.  Yesterday, we went for a walk in a national park in Mexico City.  The squirrels are tame.  They approached us looking for a snack, but Meli and I kept on moving, eventually she became scared of the little critters who looked innocent enough, but like any real terror they play the part of the cute creatures, taunting us, a horde of violent rodents, till we ran for our lives.  I miss her.  We bought flowers and plants for her apartment, and planted the new flowers in the bed outside her living room window, hovering four stories over the street.  She appreciated all I did, but we worked together on the project. We are a team and by the end of the night, we were exhausted.  I don’t want to fly back and yesterday I thought, what would it be like for both of us if we lived in Mexico?  We could go for walks in the parks and share meals together, and just be together all of the time, but I won’t make such a decision since my children are back in the States.  Meli and I have come to the conclusion that having children is not a good idea.  And that is that.  It’s based on a couple of things, I already have four children and my age.  It’s a fact.  From the flight map is appears we are approaching Athens, GA.  The memories of the town.  Athens is calling you.  I bought a promo poster for REM’s album Reckoning on Ebay for $30, it’s something I wanted for my collection for decades, Letter Never Sent…I can share this town (Athens) with Meli and we will share Yellowstone and Vegas and jazz concerts and classical concerts.  On our last night in Oaxaca, we went to a classical concert together, sat in the front row and walked back to the hotel with some secret fears that it was night in the strange, colorful city and yet we didn’t know what the ominous shadows may contain.  Nothing.  We made it back to the hotel and shared a drink before falling asleep.  This trip was different compared to the rest.  I worked yesterday and Thursday, actually we both did.  She was upset that her manager was asking for assistance while she was on vacation, and both of us stirred the pot of resentment.  There is a baby crying a few rows back.  I recall those days and don’t really want them again.  I loved my children when they were younger, cute and little who were very curious and funny, and the baby falls back to sleep for a few seconds.  Tell us a story Dad.  And I would make up a story on the fly and share something that involved them.  Tell us a story.  I am grateful since Bella and I are texting.  Joe does not want me to mention him in this blog, so I will respect his wishes.  Emma and I are talking and I was thinking of heading back to Long Island tonight, but will not.  Turbulence as we approach North Carolina, maybe next week I will get back to Long Island.

Let the music carry me away.  When I get my car and drive back to Bethlehem, I will put on REM.  There’s a few songs I would like to listen to.  It’s getting darker and after 1800, 39,350 feet above Charlotte.  Maybe it’s time to have another glass of wine.  Meli is expecting some friends to come over, they can look over the bed of flowers we planted and get a feeling that being a part from one another is never easy.  Yeah, flying above these Southern states and the lights in the cabin are dimmed.  I released again and feel much better thank you for your concerns.  I feel like watching The Joker again which I took in on the way down to Mexico.  The flight is close to a sellout; we took our chances for various reasons to risk the exposure to the Coronavirus. The desire to venture into the States, to get back home, to escape from home or to see what Freedom appeared like from the other side of a TV screen.  Who can say that?  We are hitting turbulence, but I don’t care.  My love is in Mexico and each second I am flying miles away from her.

Thank you for reading this

Dreams of Robert Johnson

12/11/19 21:57 Bethlehem, PA

Listening to Robert Johnson blues since I may be hosting a show on WDIY and I need to become familiar with the music.  His voice is like a dream from the past, a link to the dust bowls and crying in pain.  There must be a book about the man who supposedly sold his soul to the devil.  King Hearted Woman.  I was on a tear today.  At the station for an interview, back here for a few minutes, went to get a haircut at Tim’s down the road and up to the mechanic for an inspection.  I need to get the passenger light fixture replaced, the whole thing, since it is cracked and only then will I get the official sticker, and I will be free to drive around the state without a fear of prosecution.  After that, up to the supermarket to buy some food, but first some Christmas shopping at Marshalls and after, food, home.  Cooked dinner and I am back at the keys getting down the thoughts.  I checked if my black suit fits and it does.  The white shirt is ready, but I may go out for a new black belt and shoes.  I don’t want to wear anything at our wedding that I’d feel embarrassed about.  And we discussed our vacation together in Costa Rica and it is just that, an easy vacation without any concrete plans.  This is interesting since it’s a stark difference from our vacation in Ireland or even the recent weekend we had together in Mexico.  Just as well.  They’re Red Hot, by Robert Johnson and this is something I can get into it. There’s a story of a record producer trying to find Johnson, only to discover he died the year before.  Dreams of Robert Johnson.

Thank you for reading this.

While Flying Back from Mexico City on Sunday Night

11/24/19 19:14 34,941 feet above the Gulf of Mexico

Meli and I fell asleep early last night.  She said it was before 2200 but I would like to think we made it to the 2200 hour.  We hung out with a couple of her friends from work as well as her roommate Dani.  We saw a light show in the city.  It was in an open space, people were either laying on their backs on the floor or if they were lucky they had a lounge chair.  It was promoted to be an hour, but it was only a half hour. Ethereal music pulsed, lights appeared like moons and space ships. Mirrors reflected columns of golden light like tunnels that either fell on some of us.  A few kids chased after the tunnels and smiled as if warmed by the light.  After that dinner and drinks.  Meli and I had a veggie meal.  I had two mojetos and Meli ordered one.  I finished half of hers which may be the reason for the early night.  The light weight that I am.  Hitting some turbulence and I know like a breath it will dissipate and it does as I type.  I am in a strange mood, missing Meli already and dealing with an email that was disturbing.  But like the turbulence and the breath, I need to settle down my thoughts.  Meli was great, very supportive.  She made a delicious lunch today, fish and vegetables.  We said grace before eating, same as this morning over pancakes and coffee.  And now I am heading back to New York.  Tomorrow is going to be an early day workday. I am not prepared as much as I should be.  

Thank you for reading this.

We climbed a mountain for Meli's birthday

11/23/19 10:20 Mexico City

Meli is taking a shower.  We are supposed to be at her friend’s apartment in ten minutes.  We had a late start.  Yesterday, we went to Tepoztlan which is an hour bus ride from the terminal.  We raced to make the 12:00 and laughed at how we are always running to make either a flight or a bus, and we made it.  We always make it.  After getting off the bus, we took a taxi to the center of town, noticed an outdoor market and ate a delicious lunch, brunch, breakfast all wrapped up into one at Les Colores.  It is a beautiful place, wonderful decorations and a warm setting.  I’m still on my no meat diet, so I ate a cheese and veggie wrap, and another cheese dish with rice and tomato sauce.  Two beers and I was ready for our little expedition up the mountain.  We passed street vendors, dogs sleeping on the ground, and proceeded on the path, but the path became rocks and at times smooth rocks.  I would not want to risk the hike in the rain and will avoid it as any cost at night.  The trial was steep at times, went through lush jungle and all the while, people were either passing us or we stopped for breaks.  Since I run, I assumed it would not be a problem, but the sweat was dripping off.  Meli’s back has been bothering her, so we took a few breaks.  Many breaks.  I collected flowers, which I always do as a keepsake for a new place that we visited.  After more than an hour, we reached the entrance, only to find steep metal stairs, and more steep steps till we reached the top.  The view from the top was spectacular, to be that close to the peak, to see out on the horizon, to hear the faint music from the town, the church bells.  We rested for a little while.  On top of the mountain is a Mayan, architectural site; a pyramid which we climbed.  There was a man mediating, three women who brought crystal skulls with them chanted something and we tried to walk around the ledge of the pyramid, until Meli said don’t look down.  I looked.  I panicked, which was recorded for our children, it’s funny.  And we made our way back down.  Going down, more breaks.  Birds were singing, jungle birds which I never heard before.  And we finally got back into the town, had ice cream and took a taxi back to the bus stop and waited for the next bus to take us back to Mexico City.  And that my friends, was our first birthday together.   

Thank you for reading this.

Living In The Present

11/3/19 21:44 Bethlehem, PA

Living in the present, which is what Meli said just before we hung up the phone. 

You may be curious where we met.  I thought about sharing this with you.  I saw Meli on a meditation app I was using at the time.  It is called Insight Timer and it has a social context unlike other meditation apps which I currently use.  Anyway, I reached out to Meli after I finished meditating and sent her a message, it was nice to meditate with you.  Since she was in Mexico, I doubted I would hear back from her, but she wrote back.  I used Google translate and would copy the words on a piece of paper and type them into the app.  After a few days, she wrote back, I speak English.  It was a lovely start, since the previous communications would have been too arduous.  A couple of days later, I asked if we can speak on WhatsApp.  She apologized, her mother and sister were visiting her in Mexico City, but she said she would like to speak to me.  There were some audio messages, I made a video for her while I was on business in Atlanta.  And it was there that we spoke for the first time, I could not believe it.  She was happy and we had a decent conversation.  She was unsure about her English, even now there are times when she is not confident, but she amazes me by her vocabulary.  After two months, I flew down to Mexico City and saw Meli.  We spent the night in the city, went to wrestling, I was shocked by the theatrics.  We flew down to Puerto Escondido and spent an amazing week together in the sun and surf.  It was magical in so many ways.  It still is very magical; we are both on an amazing journey together.  Looking forward to seeing her again on the 21^st and celebrating her birthday on November 22.  I am grateful I have someone as loving and supportive as Meli. She is aware of my flaws and my past mistakes. She reminds me, those things don’t define the man I am.   Anam Cara!

Thank you for reading this. 

Peace is Restored

10/23/19 22:57 Bethlehem

Being in a long distance relationship has its challenges.  Communication is vital in any relationship. I know I wrote about this before.  I know what is going on.  I am tired.  We were both busy today and at times I feel as if I am the only one who sends messages during the work day.  She’s in more meetings than me.  I have the time.  Look at how many sentences begin with, “I.”  I can feel some resentment and I should take a deep breath.  Meli introduced me to a wonderful statement, tomorrow is a different day. Maybe I am being dramatic?  I feel we are slipping past one another.  Am I projecting this?  Another statement we have is, fact or fiction? It is late.  This morning the stars were radiant in the dark sky, the moon was bright and looked like a smile.  She fell asleep.  She is eating and will call me in a little while and like magic she will cut through my bullshit.  Take a deep breath.  I wrote there are challenges, but I never met anyone who has the same sense of humor as me.  Who is caring and loving and who is incredibly talented in her business.  Meli is not me.  We have our differences.  There are choices or questions in any relationship, is it healthy?  Are you happy?  Are you in peace?  Most of the time, I ask the last question; am I in peace? It’s a flitting moment.  Since my mind habitually creates drama and havoc, I can choose.  I am writing this from a room in Bethlehem.  A train blows in the distance.  It is quiet here.  Left alone with my thoughts, will I cultivate peace, love and self-compassion or let chaos simmer?  There is scene playing and it is all fake.  What is real?  We are separated by thousands of miles.  We either let the distance take command or we work on creating a future together.

And she calls and breaks through my bullshit with a laugh and peace is restored.

Thank you for reading this.

Yes, it's a long distance romance, she lives in Mexico

October 13, 2019 22:44

Meli and I are watching a movie.  She’s playing it on her phone and we are using ZOOM.  There is a slight delay with the picture, but the audio is clear.  It’s the concept. We are watching something…together.  We are always finding new things to do.  Finding joy and gratitude for the technology we can use to see and hear each other.  With technolgy, like WhatsApp, we have the ability to see each other every day while we are apart from one another.  Earlier, I went food shopping and was able to point out some savings and what I had in my cart.  Sounds lame to those who can share the experience in-person, maybe it would be different if we were together.  Honey, I need some eggs.  Here's the keys.  Meli could be walking through neighborhood park, and I could be walking down the wrong aisle looking for chamomile tea.  One of the struggles we had earlier was a slight language barrier.  There is the lack of physical proximity, but we can make things happen in our own way. The distance is shortened with FaceTime and by maintaining the communication. Keeping each other up to date about the small events, tasks, thoughts. For some, it can be annoying and some of it is inconsequential, but the communication is there. Meli and I share little details, making dinner, heading into the shower, driving to work. We are always keeping each other informed so we can feel we are sharing our day and night as close as possible.  Communication is important for any healthy relationship, but it is vital in a long distance relationship.  So, a word to those who are considering a long distance romance - maintain the communication.  Of course, I wish she was here.  We are making plans for our future, we are working on the visa and following this country's immigration policies.  I’m grateful to have Meli in my life.  I never felt so comfortable.  We are committed to our future.  I love her as my Anam Cara, my soul friend, my future wife.  I thought I'd share more picture of our recent trip to Ireland.

Thank you for reading this.

Flying over the Gulf of Mexico (Flight 921 JetBlue 5/30/19)

I can taste her breath in my mouth

It’s dry as dust and seeks to sleep

We’re flying above the Gulf of Mexico, stirring above clouds

She does not speak English and I barely know her Aztec language

I am reminded where I am when the jet shivers in summer gusts above the earth

Like a jolt of eternity

I will make love in another country

In a hot room, in the daylight

I’m zooming in with so much speed

Even the clouds appeal for stillness

Writing from a rented room in Pennsylvania

3/11/19 22:20 Hellerstown, PA

This is my first entry in my new place.  It’s alright.  I’m renting a room on Main Street.  The street light shines in the room.  There are two other men who live in the house, we all rent.  The roomer who I share a bathroom and kitchen is quiet.  He works at night, which mean I have the second floor to myself for the most part. The landlord is a nice guy.  Young guy who just might be younger than my youngest sister?  I assume.  It’s quiet in this town, barely any traffic is passing the house.  Yet, this morning there was the rush hours, from 5:30 on I assume it was that early.  I woke up at 5:47, which is the time I wake up on most days.  It’s alright.  I fell asleep after midnight, after speaking with Meli who in Mexico City is 2 hours behind.  Most of the time, it’s only an hour.  Two hours make the distance even further.  I flew back last Thursday from Mexico City.  Landed at JFK at 15:00, picked up a rental, drove out to my parents and packed a few things both for business and to drop off a few things at this house since the plan was to move in over the weekend.  I was in Bethlehem by 20:00 and in bed by 22:00, exhausted from all of the traveling, the meeting went well on Friday.  I met the landlord’s dad and gave him a check, had my keys and moved in.  Drove back to Long Island and picked up a falafel at Venus in Northport, $10 for the thing and ate it quickly over the sink at Ma Pa’s…up on Saturday.  Blood work for the insurance and met Emma, Matt and Joe for a late lunch.  Ate dinner at Lou’s, pizza in front of a roaring fire and yet I missed Meli.  It seemed like a whirlwind, I was there with her and back in Northport and gradually we were getting on with our lives.  The same can be said with this new place.  I am here and getting on with my life.  The goal is to locate an inexpensive house for us.  I want to be close enough to see the kids and yet far enough to afford something reasonable.  I can feel myself babbling in this entry or maybe it won’t be anything?  I went into the office today.  It’s the first time in years I went into the office to work and it felt good.  Saw familiar faces, had a coffee, participated in meetings, face to face and sat in a cubicle and worked.  Actually, I enjoyed it.  On lunch break I came back to this area and picked up a few things at the supermarket, made a sandwich and ate quickly before getting back into the office.  The commute is only 10 minutes.  I may do this more often until I buy some plastic bags or plastic wrap for my sandwich and drinks.  I’m looking forward to learning more about the business I am in; all of the facets while still maintaining my selling goals.  After work, I ran for about 6 miles through a converted railroad line which is now a nature trial.  I saw a blue bird, never before have I seen the state bird of New York – this was the first time in Pennsylvania.  I crossed over bridges, which covered cold streams that led to streams, carrying melting snow.  I saw couples walking, a man walking his dog who ignored my hello.  A woman who ran past me, way to go since she had a great pace, and then it was growing darker and the end of trial was in sight and I was grateful to discover my new path.  I think my love is out for the night.  I’ll call her before I slip to sleep.
 Thank you for reading this.  

When spirits flood the night, Day of the Dead in Mexico

              John Coltrane, Love Supreme is playing on the CD player he bought at the Thrift Store in East Northport, it was a gift he wanted to give himself for months.  The five-dollar investment is a good one since listening to the whole album while writing was something he would do at his parent’s house – last year.  The music and the writing was his escape, his refuge.  Tonight is not that much different than the other nights last year when he wrote.

              His youngest is not talking to him, needs some space so he gives his baby as much space as she needs.  The other children are talking to him and his ex his reassuring them, he is not abandoning them. Not in the slightest, but it is difficult for the youngest, although she is fifteen - this is all new and everything new will be new and she, like the rest of the family will need to process the divorce.  Not that it will get easier, it will become acceptable like a limp. 

              The CD skipped for a second and maybe the five bucks was not a great bargain after all, but the radio works and there is a tape player. 

              The younger ones are in a play tonight and he is in his room, keeping the requested distance and he is alright at this time. 

              The CD skipped again, and now John Coltrane is chanting, Love Supreme.

              He closes his eyes and listens to the drums, rim shots, the piano, McCoy Tyner and the bass and the full sound fills in the empty spaces.

              Martin listens to the wind outside.  Meli is at the movies with a friend, she looked beautiful when she Face timed him, he told her so.

              Last Friday, they were together in Taxco, Mexico celebrating Day of the Dead.  Colorful banners swayed in the night breezes and it began to rain lightly which was a rarity, one of the taxi drivers explained to Meli.  Martin thought it had to do with him, being one of the few gringos in the town.  He noticed a few others and wanted to see if they were like him, a lean middle aged man walking and kissing a woman who was decades younger than he was, but he did not linger too long on the thought since age was something he accepted instead of letting it crack the joy in their relationship.  It was a thought and he let it pass.

               She is the happiest person in the world and he has not laughed as much with anyone.

              Meli wanted to get her face painted and she urged him to do it, this could be the only time he celebrated Day of the Dead, and he should get it done.  He reluctantly agreed and in a few minutes found himself sitting on a bench as a high school girl applied white cream and powder and then black onto his face.  Meli reached out and they held hands as the girls talked to one another about an ex-boyfriend, the one putting makeup on him said he was with someone new, but at least she wore his school jacket before his new girlfriend.  Meli explained what they were talking about. 

              “Instead of thinking about him, you should be focused on your math.”

              “Yeah right.”

              He was done in five minutes, eyed the armed police in the square with some concerns especially since they carried loaded machine guns and there were a lot of them off to one corner of the square.  Some women were talking to them as slowly they sipped their Coke bottles.  

              It began to rain harder and yet they walked around the village, holding hands and taking selfies.  They spoke to her mother and father, and it looked like they’d just woke up her old man, who barely said a word to Martin.

              “Honey, we should go to the cemetery, it’s part of the tradition.  There’s a fair there and music and you can how the families celebrate their loved ones.” 

              Visiting a cemetery did not appeal to Martin in the slightest, he recalled the small cemeteries outside the villages in Guatemala, they were barren, the crypts or the brick forms which contained the bones let in the light of the day and he did not want to go there at night, visions of rats crawling out of the dark spaces were creeping him out.

              “I don’t know.”

              “Honey, this could be your only time to celebrate, Day of the Dead,” she said and smiled at him with her made-up face and he smiled back.

              “Well, ok, whatever you say.”

              “It will be fun, you will see.”

              Taxco is the city where VW Beetles are everywhere, the taxi drivers pulled out the front passenger seat, the passenger door has a cord attached to it, so the driver can pull the door shut after the passenger leaves.  There is normally a crucifix dangling from the rear view mirror, the back seat could be in good shape or not.  The ceiling sometimes droops down at times on his head.  The experienced drivers take off, beeping before every blind spot, racing down hills, through narrow roads where passengers better walk in single file or they will get hit…dogs dart out and back and if the traffic is slow will be nudged out of the way by a careless bumper.

              They made it to the cemetery and paid the driver and stepped out.  Martin saw a drunk woman laughing loudly.  It was a fair.  He felt out of the place, not only being a gringo in the town, but the tallest in the crowd and ready to call it a night. 

              “Honey, over here.”

              The place was a muddy mess. It was a wet fair where beer was abundant.  There were rides, music and games and they walked up a step, past some vendors who were selling food just before the gates to the cemetery.  Colored lights bounced off the bano and they we walked into the silent darkness.

              His breathing was calm.  They walked up a narrow lane past the lit chambers, the glass enclosures, the pictures, when they were living and able to smile for the camera, and now alas their families waited in this world with patience.

              Filling the night with folk songs they walked and greeted the others and scared the children who thought they were the dead. 

              Kissing in the light rain…the night welcomed them…