Spousal Visa Process, Part II

6/6/20 18:00

Updates on the Visa, I ordered a copy of the birth certificate and received it this week.  The two passport photos with a white background, also done.  The hurdle will be the divorce paperwork which means I need to go to a UPS store to notarize my signature and send a check to the country government on Long Island – through the mail.  My wife is working on her items, but it is more challenging since she is in Mexico and needs to process her order in Costa Rica.  So, that it is where we are.  We need to make time to accomplish what is pending.  With the current events and the global crisis, there is a feeling that perhaps this will take even longer.  As long as we take action, any action towards our goals it is better than another day - another week - slipping by.

Looking at homes in the area that I can afford.  I am not that confident that this is the right time to distract myself with another home, instead I need to focus.  The real estate agent sent a new listing for Nazareth which is a competitive market, a two bedroom that looks promising.  There are a couple of houses in the area that look intriguing, but there’s not a rush to jump into an empty house.  This house is empty enough and can’t imagine what it will be like buying furniture, a bed and the rest. 

Spoke with the publisher and they are reviewing my manuscript.

I may travel back to Mexico this August.

This is an opportunity to rise, to express our good angels, to share our faith in each other and speak in unity and compassion.  God bless the peace makers and courageous protesters!

Maybe it’s time to get outside and get in a game of basketball?

Thank you for reading this

Being a divorced Dad

11/10/19 23:23 East Northport, NY

My dad has some nuggets of wisdom from time to time.  Tonight before I came to bed, he suggested I pray the serenity prayer.  For those who are not familiar with it: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.  Thy will not mine be done.  The prayer is used in 12 steps rooms and has helped me when I feel there is little more I can do, expect to pray and to accept the circumstances.  This weekend has been emotional.  Last night I had dinner with Amanda and Joey and felt we ended the night in a positive way.  But there was little communication from either of them today, I was not sure what to expect.  I had dinner with Emma Tess who has been with me through thick and thin, there was not one moment when she made an ultimatum, it’s either us or her.  And both Meli and I know how the divorce is still fresh and painful, but we are making plans to marry.  I asked her last January if she would marry me, so it should not be a surprise to any of my children that we will get married.  I listened to their fears.  I know they love me, but I don’t like hearing, if I really loved them, I would not get married.  The fear is that I will go away and not be a part of their lives.  The move to Pennsylvania was not easy since I was moving away from my parents, sisters and more importantly my children, but it is more expensive to live here and they understand, but it doesn’t make it any easier.  I can’t run out to pick up Bella from school if she needs me; it will take more than three hours – at least – to get to her.  But I have not abandoned them. Yes, I live in Pennsylvania, but I am still part of their lives – as best as I can be and as best as they want me in their lives.  I visit Long Island at least every other week and see the kids, the one or ones willing to see me.  So, it’s true, the serenity prayer is perfect for tonight, especially knowing most of my children are suffering in their own way, with the divorce, with knowing I am engaged and with the possibility, I will be married to someone other than their mom.  I will always be there for each of them as much as they are willing to accept me for who I am and who I choose to be with.

Thank you for reading this.

A Sort of Reunion in the Grocery Store Parking Lot

10/15/19 22:52 Valley Forge, PA

Listen to this.  The last couple of days when I have been driving around Bethlehem, I noticed a number of New York license plates.  Yes, we are close to New York, and yes there are a lot of carpet baggers like myself who made the move up here.  I mentioned the amount of NY cars to Meli on Sunday while I was driving and yesterday, I pulled into a spot at the super market and there is front of my car, yes it’s still registered in NY; is another NY license plate, I took a picture and sent it to Meli, is there something in the air?  Is this a conspiracy?  This afternoon I drove back down to the same supermarket and parked next to a car, also with NY license plates.  I was going to take a picture, but did not.   I went into the store and came out.  The man who was parked next to me was getting into his car.

“You’re from New York?” I asked.

“Yeah, you?”

“Yeah, what part are you from?”

“Long Island.”

“Me too.”

“Really?  What town are you from?”

“I grew up in Northport.”

“Really?”  He said.  “I grew up in East Northport.”

“That’s where my parents live, off Vernon Valley, Bellecrest Avenue,” I said.

“I grew up on Bellecrest. 63.”

“Really? What’s your last name?”

“Petersdorf.”

“Fred?”

“He’s my younger brother.  I’m Billy.”

It turns out the mom moved up here years ago and Freddy lives with his mom.  Billy was too cool for the kids and looked a little wild, that’s how I remembered him.  Later, my brother called.  I have not spoken to Dave in over a year.  I asked if I was dying, I could not believe what happened today.  Dave and I talked for close to an hour, the same with Billy and I, we also spoke for close to an hour …small world.

Thank you for reading this.

An early moon

10/9/19 20:22 Bethlehem, PA

Meli is at the gym.  I wanted to get home and change and take my ball up to the courts close to the house.  I was on the phone with a former client for a while, catching up on   The days are getting shorter and the nights, no I won’t write any clichés and yet the energy level is waning.  Do you feel it?  Maybe you read about my drive back here on Monday.  The wipers went out just as it started to rain while I was driving on 78.  Yesterday, I brought my Jetta to Young’s Volkswagen in Exton, PA.  Yes, I know what you are thinking.  Why?  A dealership?  I wanted to post a congrats, and let you know something.  I feel confident with their work and was impressed with their professionalism and integrity.  Before I brought the car over, I called and spoke to John.  He was easy going and was said I could bring in the car.  They checked the fuses, which I did earlier in the day, and knew it wasn’t the fuse.  I was told, it was the motor for the windshield wipers, and it was going to cost a few hundred.  I’m stuck.  I need wipers.  I asked if he can check the oil as well, if it looks like it needs to be changed, please go ahead.  They checked and said I didn’t need an oil change.  So, I can trust them.  Finding a mechanic in a new town can be challenging.

Pete Engelmann just called.   We caught up on our lives and now discuss our health.  He shared that one of our friends passed away.  May God rest Herbie’s soul.   The last twenty years were especially painful for him, so it is a blessing.

Thank you for reading this.

Happy Birthday

October 7, 2019 22:47 Bethlehem, PA

What’s it like to drive on the highway, in the rain, without any windshield wipers?  I thought of all the pilots who made serious errors and crashed. Thinking they could beat the weather or approaching storm or ignore the warning signs of a faulty engine.  They took the risk and paid for it with their lives or at least a serious injury for many.  Most crashes are due to pilot error.  I thought of this and when the rain was a faint drizzle, I was grateful, but when I crossed into this state, the rain was coming down hard.  Trucks were tossing back a wall of mist.  The rain was sliding off the windshield and there were some tricky areas on the road when I could not see that well.  I made it and can write about. What would have sucked would have been my gravestone, born on this date and died on this date.  Happy birthday to me.

Thank you for reading this.

Writing from a rented room in Pennsylvania

3/11/19 22:20 Hellerstown, PA

This is my first entry in my new place.  It’s alright.  I’m renting a room on Main Street.  The street light shines in the room.  There are two other men who live in the house, we all rent.  The roomer who I share a bathroom and kitchen is quiet.  He works at night, which mean I have the second floor to myself for the most part. The landlord is a nice guy.  Young guy who just might be younger than my youngest sister?  I assume.  It’s quiet in this town, barely any traffic is passing the house.  Yet, this morning there was the rush hours, from 5:30 on I assume it was that early.  I woke up at 5:47, which is the time I wake up on most days.  It’s alright.  I fell asleep after midnight, after speaking with Meli who in Mexico City is 2 hours behind.  Most of the time, it’s only an hour.  Two hours make the distance even further.  I flew back last Thursday from Mexico City.  Landed at JFK at 15:00, picked up a rental, drove out to my parents and packed a few things both for business and to drop off a few things at this house since the plan was to move in over the weekend.  I was in Bethlehem by 20:00 and in bed by 22:00, exhausted from all of the traveling, the meeting went well on Friday.  I met the landlord’s dad and gave him a check, had my keys and moved in.  Drove back to Long Island and picked up a falafel at Venus in Northport, $10 for the thing and ate it quickly over the sink at Ma Pa’s…up on Saturday.  Blood work for the insurance and met Emma, Matt and Joe for a late lunch.  Ate dinner at Lou’s, pizza in front of a roaring fire and yet I missed Meli.  It seemed like a whirlwind, I was there with her and back in Northport and gradually we were getting on with our lives.  The same can be said with this new place.  I am here and getting on with my life.  The goal is to locate an inexpensive house for us.  I want to be close enough to see the kids and yet far enough to afford something reasonable.  I can feel myself babbling in this entry or maybe it won’t be anything?  I went into the office today.  It’s the first time in years I went into the office to work and it felt good.  Saw familiar faces, had a coffee, participated in meetings, face to face and sat in a cubicle and worked.  Actually, I enjoyed it.  On lunch break I came back to this area and picked up a few things at the supermarket, made a sandwich and ate quickly before getting back into the office.  The commute is only 10 minutes.  I may do this more often until I buy some plastic bags or plastic wrap for my sandwich and drinks.  I’m looking forward to learning more about the business I am in; all of the facets while still maintaining my selling goals.  After work, I ran for about 6 miles through a converted railroad line which is now a nature trial.  I saw a blue bird, never before have I seen the state bird of New York – this was the first time in Pennsylvania.  I crossed over bridges, which covered cold streams that led to streams, carrying melting snow.  I saw couples walking, a man walking his dog who ignored my hello.  A woman who ran past me, way to go since she had a great pace, and then it was growing darker and the end of trial was in sight and I was grateful to discover my new path.  I think my love is out for the night.  I’ll call her before I slip to sleep.
 Thank you for reading this.  

Alabama Shakes brings down Carnegie Hall

March 25, 2017

I apologize for the delay since I should have wrote this last weekend.  I’m trying to write a blog entry once a week.  Once a week.  That is all.  Yet, even the single entry can get tangled in other demands.  Writing is a discipline.  Either I have it or I get distracted or lost in other habits.  Anyway, here is my review of the Tibet House concert on March 16^th…as always thank you for reading it.

I was in Pennsylvania on business and yet I had tickets to see the show at Carnegie Hall.  When I bought the single seat – a few weeks back – I bought the most expensive - in the orchestra. I knew I had to write down the event my book since I would forget.  I had made plans with a client to visit the company and yet, even with the date marked down, I still forgot.  But, I was not going to miss this event.  The lineup was incredible, Iggy Pop, New Order, Alabama Shakes, Patty Smith, Laurie Anderson, and others and of course the esteemed composer Philip Glass.  It was a benefit concert for the Tibet House and yet it was also a celebration of Philip Glass.

After driving a few hours up the NJ Turnpike, I drove up to the George Washington and drove down the West side of Manhattan.  It was dusk.  The lights on the bridge were faint as well as the dim lights from the multitudes of apartments and offices rectangled in the steep skyscrapers.  I made it to the parking garage and walked three blocks to Carnegie Hall.  I ate dinner at a rest stop in New Jersey. I was not sure, how much time I would have before the show started.  I had time.  Bought a t-shirt, found my seat and was impressed with the expansive white room, the gold and the high ceiling as well as the sparse stage.  I was there with enough time.  I could have sat down and ate. 

The seats in the hall were cramped.  They were built for another epoch.  I was pulled into the conversation from a couple who sat in front of me.  Eventually, it was time for a bathroom break.  It was already ten minutes after the show was scheduled to begin.  Maybe it begins at 8?  Go ahead and take a piss. I decided to get up and make my way out from the middle of the aisle where I sat.  I made my way to the bathroom.  I heard applause as I stood there.  I was late.  I couldn’t go anywhere.  I stood there. Quick rinse in the sink and a swift jog back to my door where I was…stopped.  You can’t go in.  The monks are chanting.  The doors were closed.  The usher walked away and I tried to sneak in.  Nope.  There was another usher on the other side keeping people like me out and away from receiving a blessing.  Eventually, the doors were opened and I was back in my cramped seat.

Most of the night had shouts to resist Trump and the shared dismay that we have Donald J as our president.  Laurie Anderson was the first act and performed a beautiful piece on her late husband, Lou Reed who I saw perform at another Tibet House benefit concert.  Alabama Shakes could have performed the whole show since they brought the house down.  I was there to see them and Iggy Pop who performed with New Order and heard a rendition of Joy Division’s She’s Lost Control.  Ben Harper performed and introduced his daughter who sang with him.  The theme of family was evident.  Philip Glass’ son played, Patty Smith’ daughter and son played as well.  Patty Smith closed the night with a Bob Dylan song and final was, People have the power!

 I was not sure what to expect driving back.  The city streets were narrow since there was a snow storm just a couple of days before.  It took me two hours or so to get back.  I climbed into the bed leaving the fabled city so many miles away. 

Don't Let the sound of your own wheels drive you CRAZY.

12/31/14 16:08

This is the last entry for the year and it’s time to look back at what I wrote.  I wrote more  blog entries this year, thank you for reading some.  

For this entry, I wanted to capture my travels which for the most part were for work.  I am not complaining, but this year I spent more than 30 nights, maybe closer to 40 nights in a hotel room.  It’s the most for a single year.  Most of the trips were to Pennsylvania or Massachusetts for meetings, but I was out in California for a trade show and flew out to Illinois for another trade show.  There was a meeting in West Virginia.  I thought of John Denver as I drove across the barren West Virginia landscape; take me home, West Virginia.  Not for me, but I intend to get back there in 2015.  For vacation we went to Disney.  Wait a second; I’m sure these details bore you.  I am sorry.  The odd thing is feeling the need to travel. When I don’t travel at least every other week, I feel anxious. I need to get out on the road and get in front of clients.  For some of you it may be hard to imagine, leaving the comforts of home and of course leaving the company of my wife and children.  Yes, I miss them.  There are nights in an empty hotel room when I have a cold dinner which I ate hours before only to watch it wilt and become stale.  I have emails to work on.  The TV is playing ESPN or something from the History channel, but I try to get in some reading and writing while I have the time.  There is the need to prepare for the meetings as well. The room is still quiet without the sounds of my family.  The next morning I may run a couple of miles on the treadmill, buy a veggie breakfast and head back to my room.  And before you know it I am in the parking lot for my first appointment and debating if I should wait or go in fifteen minutes before the scheduled time.   After my meetings, I may head back to my room and answer the emails and call back those who left messages.  But, if I am lucky I can get back on the road and head home.  I discovered the secret passage called the Ocean Parkway which runs East to West and is located at the most Southern region on Long Island.  There are times when I can see over the sand dunes at Jones Beach and watch for a second or two as the mighty waves from the Atlantic crest and crash into the shore.  These are some the sites I like to see.  Well, the ocean and an open road as the radio is playing a song which was created for driving.  Eagles, Take it Easy…

Happy New Year’s and here is a salute to 2015 to the profound potential a New Year has in store for all of us.

Thank you for reading this.

The Gordon's take on Hershey but only after The Devils on the Cross Bronx Expressway tried to stop us!

8/18/14 18:25

What did you do on your summer vacation?  It’s a question some of us dread, some of us wait for the question and let the warm memories flow like a broken dam.  What did I do?  I wrote about some of the things we did this summer, but listen to this; summer is not over.  Not yet.  Last Friday we drove to Hershey.  The plan was to pick up Amanda and Emma’s friends, Sarah and Hannah - both are sisters and the pairs graduated in their respective classes.  After we pick them up we drive to Hershey.  Easy enough.  I rented a car and used points for the hotel.  The hotel was in York.  York is forty five minutes away from Hershey, but for two rooms it was a bargain and well worth the drive.  But here's the news, Friday was one the worst driving experiences I encountered.   As a habit, I listen to 1010 and get the traffic.  The Throgs Neck Bridge was reduced to two lanes due to construction or was that the Whitestone? I wasn’t sure.  I waited ten minutes for the traffic report again, but was distracted, so followed the signs , the recommendations in neon and flashes.  We took the Throgs.  We made it over fair easily.  No major issues to report.  The sun was out, a perfect view of the city to the West.  I used the cash lane since my EZ PASS is linked to my corporate credit card.  Not a problem.  Then the sun went black and the traffic stopped on the Cross Bronx Expressway.  Little devils with gnashing teeth beat down on us and taunted us from the hood of the car, tossing pitch forks and flames. It was hell.  We eventually made it to New Jersey as if the anus of a state - was a foreign land - we kissed the trash laden ground as we set foot on the sacred rest stop.  It took over an hour to get there, maybe three, but really - who is counting?  I avoid looking at the clock when I don’t move.  I was numb.  After our break, we headed back out and while on the NJ Turnpike, I came up with an idea.  It was getting late. Why don’t we go straight to the hotel?  That led to the next parking lot which on this Friday evening rush hour traffic - slowly rolled and stopped, rolled for miles.  The devils were taunting me again.  Each exit was a painful imprint on the skull.  My conscience was playing tricks with me, you are here and you need to be there and you are not going very far…are you?  You can get out of the car and walk and you will get there faster.  Was it an accident?  No.  Amanda and Sarah were playing music and seemed settled and bored.  I questioned my logic, perhaps we should have drove to Hersey and spent an hour or two in the park and then off to York?  What is done is done.  Hello Trenton, only took four hours to see you.  What was a four and a half hour trip to the hotel - took nine fucking (excuse me) hours which included the rest stop and a meal at Cracker Barrel. 

The next morning we awoke after a good night sleep and arrived at Hershey Park.  It is tree lined.  The air is cooler and sweeter and fresh with a trace of the decaying hay from the fields.  Most arrivals take the tour which is a ride as well as an educational opportunity on how chocolate is made in the sweetest place on earth.  Years ago, you would be given a little Hershey bar, not these days, we were handed some lame ass chocolate covered beans in a tiny bag.  Rip off!  But I let that go, these days I need to be more grateful.  Thank you, Hershey for the little shit chocolate covered beans.  We checked through the entrance which is beautiful without being gaudy.  You walk into what feels like a quaint European village, why look, it’s Dunkin Donuts.  It’s sort of laid back in the park.  Kids with pimples on their pale faces wear baggy uniforms and push little brooms, picking up white paper napkins and white plastic spoons. They are the walking dead dreading to be seen by their friends.  I was there.  I pushed shopping carts one summer at a super market and recall the embarrassment and the torture since I had to wear a tie in that scorching heat.  My neck and back broke out in boils and I looked at them and picked up a napkin someone else dropped.  I got it, the kid said.  No son, I have this one.  You do enough at this park.  Well, not really, but I thought of it, as we passed slow ass country folk who walked as their underwear was loaded.   Get out of the way. What's the rush?  We can't help it, we are from New York.  Come back to see us.  What's with the characters?  Hershey Bar and Reese's and 5th Avenue - what the fuck?

The water park was fun.  Joe and I hit a ride and flew through a darkened tunnel and out into the light and back into the darkness only to crash face forward into the pool. I flew over Joe and nearly drowned my son who I pulled up from the cool deep.  He looked shocked.  Ready for another? I asked knowing what he’d say. Nah.  He was toast for most of the day.  While Ali and the rest hit the lazy river, I stayed at a table and watched the huge candy bar characters chase little kids and demand to get a picture with them.  Music played and this corpulent woman who was the ring leader for the characters was dancing.  I felt sorry for her.  I really did.  She was smiling though, maybe thinking she was on stage or the life of a party.   I hit the comet which is the oldest roller coaster in the park.  Front row.  I screamed like a little girl. Scott and Tyler also joined us.  Overall it was an enjoyable day for all of us. As night settled in - teenagers who were keeping their safe distances through the day were holding hands and acting like kids at a country fair would do; joking around and gawking at other teens.  They were having fun.  I watched them from a distance and saw one odd couple, the girl was tall and the boy quite short. They held hands and looked to be showing the world how opposites do attract. 

Under the cool night air, we wished for rest. We were at the park for close to twelve hours.   We had our fill.  Good night Fifth Avenue Bar and all of your inebriated chocolate friends.

Thank you for reading this.