Six Months since I saw my wife due to Covid

 

9/6/20 19:13 Home

Tomorrow will be six months since my wife and I waved goodbye at the airport in Mexico City.  I planned to work in Mexico City last month, my director gave me permission, but the cases of Covid in Mexico were too high.  The plan also involved me staying in quarantine for at least ten days in an Airbnb and then staying at Meli’s apartment with her roommate.  The three of us would work, using the apartment’s Wi-Fi which let’s face it, is not the best.  But it was an opportunity to be with my wife.  We both want to see each other.  We scrapped the plan and have tentative plans for November or Christmas.  Everything depends on the Covid status, both here in Pennsylvania and in Mexico.

In some ways, the distance and the lack of travel has had a strain on the relationship.  And yet, we are committed to each other and to the marriage.  Neither of us is wondering what did we get ourselves into.  But the Covid factor has brought bouts of anxiety and depression.  We have survived six months and can go longer if necessary, the saving grace if the spousal visa is being processed and more importantly we have faith.

We have attended church on Sunday, Passion City Church and we have heard messages that have touched our hearts and souls and have given us the strength to keep going.  Life will be rough, but we will survive and be stronger for it.   

This has also been a good time to discuss our relationship.  There are some key differences, age, culture, height and my wives’ taste for mindless movies.  We are making plans for the house, plans for our weekends, growing a garden and even getting a dog.  To give you an example, each time I am out on a run and see something beautiful, I wish my wife was with me.  I am saving these places in my memory and want to share all of them when we are together.  There are a lot of beautiful places in this area.  I just hope I can remember how I got to them. 

The house is coming along and I am taking it slowly since we own the house and no one is making me do anything.  You know what I mean.  I want to convert to gas, redo the floors, new windows, and I have to take it one project at a time. Today I installed the toilet paper holder, some painting outside.  Maybe I can take a full day off tomorrow?

Thank you for reading this.

The Immigration Process, my wife is a Costa Rican citizen

5/28/20 22:11

My wife and I have been using ZOOM at night.  We start with WhatsApp, and soon switch to Zoom.  It gives us the ability to work and see one another.  The last time we were together was on March 7.  Covid was starting to take hold in different parts of the world.  I wore a mask at the airport in Mexico City, and yet it seemed the virus was a distant threat.  The same attitude some world leaders regrettably took.  I have permission to work in Mexico City, to be with my wife, but the hospitals in Mexico are not prepared for this crisis.  It may not be a good time to travel there.   Do I want to risk it? There are travel restrictions, essential personal is allowed entry, not tourists.  After checking more details on-line, the restrictions are meant to curtail land entry, but not air.  Maybe in a couple of weeks?  I’ll talk with Meli about this tonight.

The visa process has been on-hold.  Due in part to the government agencies had been closed. 

But honestly, it has been difficult to dedicate time to this process.  One factor may be the way we have led our long distant relationship for these past two years. Things are not that different, although we are married.  It’s the same.  Each day, we wait; it’s another day longer in the process.  It’s that simple. 

Last night, Meli and I discussed structuring our time more effectively.  Which includes making time for the visa process.

Taking action has been my theme for the last few weeks.  Whatever action that may include, family, work, visa, exercise, program, meditation.  I need to take the time.  If I take the time and accomplish my tasks, I will meet my goals.  Sounds simple. 

So, how about it?  I am going to keep a record of what we need to do to accomplish this.  The first task has been completed, contacting Catholic Charities in Allentown who are assisting in the process, check.  Completed.  They asked if I obtained the necessary documents. No check there.  Not yet.  So we are back to square one.

Order my birth certificate from the town, which I was told is easy enough.  I will do this today.

Order proof of my divorce, I tried to go through Suffolk Country offices web site, but the offices were closed and there was not a link to process this request.  In the past, I needed to go to office in Riverhead, which is at the end of Long Island.  I needed the same official paperwork to get married in Costa Rica, and last November I drove out to the offices. I obtained and submitted – all originals to the lawyer who conducted our civil ceremony, my paperwork – our paperwork is stored in a government office in Costa Rica.  I am not getting them back.

Take a passport photo with a blue background?  I will double check on the blue.  I will take care of it this weekend at the local CVS. 

Both my wife and I have been busy at work and we are blessed to have our jobs.  We are both hard workers and now with this blog entry, it will serve as a record keeper, I will record our progress.  And this includes the effects of the Covid-19 virus.

Thank you for reading this.

This too shall pass, let go and let God

4/2/20 22:17 Bethlehem, PA

This too shall pass and yet the question begs to be asked; when?  I feel sorry for the families stuck inside their homes, dogs and cats as well.  I have the serenity of a quiet house.  I live with two other guys, each of us has a bedroom and we share the rest of the house.  Not too bad of a place, but it can use some work.  Be grateful.  I am trying to be grateful at this time of uncertainty and yet I cherish the changes in nature.  The trees are blooming, flowers are spouting and yet the silence looms in the streets.  As if no one is outside to take in the rush of scents and colors.  It’s young and fresh.  The season.  No more winter.  I noticed a neighbor hanging their bed sheets out on the line and was envious, what a great day to let the sheets take in the sun and the breeze. I can find gratitude for seeing that or the other neighbor next to us, the one who I can see inside their house when the Venetian blinds are open or up, the one with the piano, TV and lamps, and their bird feeder which is attached with suction cups to their window.  A pair of cardinals and many sparrows come to feed from it.  Once a squirrel hopped up and the feeder crashed to the ground.  They fixed it.  Their cat watches the birds from the warmth of the room, his head darts back and forth till he accepts the fact, the birds are outside and he is still in the warmth of his room.  And that has been my days so far.  I miss hanging with the kids and watching something, popcorn and their laughter and yet if I was with them – their insanity - there is a good chance I will be off in another room.  That is the fact of my life when we were all together, I was off in my room or in the den reading and trying to gain some serenity.  What does the future hold?  Possibilities and the living a clean and sober life, but it is one day at a time for me.  I am not sure how long the visa process will take, but as long as Meli and I maintain our communication and humor, there is little we cannot get through.  There are people dying, More than 5,000 in the US.  Families are devastated, emotionally and financially.  More than 6 million filed for unemployment and what would it be like for most if they were working?  Living paycheck to paycheck and all of a sudden, they are hit with hardship, pain, fear.  Bare down and consider who is around you and be grateful. “But we’re hungry.”  Grateful for who is in your life and what they bring to you.  Open a book and read, this is the time we waited for, we can discover ourselves for the first time and appreciate who we are.  Let hope reign and fear ride in the back seat like a pain in the ass who wants to know when we’re going to get there.  Let it pass.

Thank you for reading this and God bless you and your families.