Yes, it's a long distance romance, she lives in Mexico

October 13, 2019 22:44

Meli and I are watching a movie.  She’s playing it on her phone and we are using ZOOM.  There is a slight delay with the picture, but the audio is clear.  It’s the concept. We are watching something…together.  We are always finding new things to do.  Finding joy and gratitude for the technology we can use to see and hear each other.  With technolgy, like WhatsApp, we have the ability to see each other every day while we are apart from one another.  Earlier, I went food shopping and was able to point out some savings and what I had in my cart.  Sounds lame to those who can share the experience in-person, maybe it would be different if we were together.  Honey, I need some eggs.  Here's the keys.  Meli could be walking through neighborhood park, and I could be walking down the wrong aisle looking for chamomile tea.  One of the struggles we had earlier was a slight language barrier.  There is the lack of physical proximity, but we can make things happen in our own way. The distance is shortened with FaceTime and by maintaining the communication. Keeping each other up to date about the small events, tasks, thoughts. For some, it can be annoying and some of it is inconsequential, but the communication is there. Meli and I share little details, making dinner, heading into the shower, driving to work. We are always keeping each other informed so we can feel we are sharing our day and night as close as possible.  Communication is important for any healthy relationship, but it is vital in a long distance relationship.  So, a word to those who are considering a long distance romance - maintain the communication.  Of course, I wish she was here.  We are making plans for our future, we are working on the visa and following this country's immigration policies.  I’m grateful to have Meli in my life.  I never felt so comfortable.  We are committed to our future.  I love her as my Anam Cara, my soul friend, my future wife.  I thought I'd share more picture of our recent trip to Ireland.

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Getting ready for the Suffolk County Half

October 12, 2019 17:59

Earlier I ran 10.18 miles.  I will sign up for the Suffolk County Half.  That was my goal, if I can run 10 without any serious pain, I can run 13.1. My hamstrings were tightening up around mile 7, but I pushed on, maybe I had to drink more?  I ran most of the 10.18 without a shirt on.  Through the trails which were shaded and cool, but threw my long sleeve back on just before hitting the streets again.  I didn’t want my 54-year-old body to be a distraction to the old ladies driving past me.  I can hear their calls, “What the?  Put a shirt on you pale bastard!”  I need to get my ass in motion and make some dinner.  Meli was out last night so we have not talked as much today.  Saturdays can be our bonding day, but each day has its own bond.  I want her to recover from the late night and watch her TV.  Later we will catch up.  It’s quiet in the house.  I am debating if I should go out and get a beer in town.  There’s an old punk bar on the South side.  Make it two beers bartender, I ran over 10 miles today and I could use the liquid refreshment. 

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I can be a DJ on WDIY

10/11/19 22:12 Bethlehem, PA

Listening to Betty Carter’s 30 Years.  I remember playing this for Ali.  Betty was singing about how her husband was leaving her after 30 Years.  We’ve been together for 30 Years, I love you, don’t go.  Thinking about last Saturday night when the six of us ate together for the first time in almost 2 and a half years.  Sitting across from my ex.  Both of us at times rolling our eyes at something one of our kids said.  I’m curious how she is doing.  How is she coping?  We spoke a couple of weeks back and I opened up.  She is aware I am in a 12 step program and was happy to hear of my progress and yet she was upset that I could not be sober while we were married.  And we move on.  I asked if she had dated, and she went back to being cautious, I refuse to answer that question.  I was at a meeting tonight.  There is strength in the rooms, vulnerability, confusion and I’m struck with how similar our stories are.  So many times I can relate, nod in agreement, yes.  I was there.  I felt the same way, thought the same and this is why we are together.  I live in a room in Bethlehem for a reason.  There are choices to make each day and especially at night and tonight I chose to be in a room in another town.  It was worth the drive.  I stopped at an ice cream place which I have passed each time I went to the meeting and thought I will buy a shake on my way home.  Tonight was the night.  A pumpkin shake.  The dark blue sky over the black hills.  It's cooler, getting colder. The radio was playing Betty Carter, WDIY and one of the guys in the room had a WDIY t-shirt on.  Maybe I can be a DJ on the radio station and play eclectic music?  I can read poetry and quotes from Pema Chodrin Thomas Merton or a Zen koan.  I wish I was on the radio and can share some thoughts.  It will be at night, after midnight and there will be a dozen or so listening to my show.  From time to time I will ask if they have a request, but I’m only playing the song if it’s cool.  I recognize the caller, she wants to hear something lame.  No, not playing it.  I get back on.  So, dear listeners, let us now listen to The Clash, Broadway.

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Training for two weeks to run a half marathon

10/10/19 21:32 Bethlehem

Went for a run earlier.  8 miles through this town, on the rail road trail and around the casino and back to the house.  I am checking if I can run a half marathon in two weeks.  The Suffolk County Marathon and half and 10K and 5 K and everything in between is being held on 10/27.  Join me on my training and let us run together on the South shore on Long Island.  Let us pray dear friends that it does not rain.

Mo Cheeks is going to France next month.

Joey was visiting her, we FaceTime, or FaceTimed?  What is correct?

I may fly back to Mexico in November and back to Costa Rica in December for Christmas.

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An early moon

10/9/19 20:22 Bethlehem, PA

Meli is at the gym.  I wanted to get home and change and take my ball up to the courts close to the house.  I was on the phone with a former client for a while, catching up on   The days are getting shorter and the nights, no I won’t write any clichés and yet the energy level is waning.  Do you feel it?  Maybe you read about my drive back here on Monday.  The wipers went out just as it started to rain while I was driving on 78.  Yesterday, I brought my Jetta to Young’s Volkswagen in Exton, PA.  Yes, I know what you are thinking.  Why?  A dealership?  I wanted to post a congrats, and let you know something.  I feel confident with their work and was impressed with their professionalism and integrity.  Before I brought the car over, I called and spoke to John.  He was easy going and was said I could bring in the car.  They checked the fuses, which I did earlier in the day, and knew it wasn’t the fuse.  I was told, it was the motor for the windshield wipers, and it was going to cost a few hundred.  I’m stuck.  I need wipers.  I asked if he can check the oil as well, if it looks like it needs to be changed, please go ahead.  They checked and said I didn’t need an oil change.  So, I can trust them.  Finding a mechanic in a new town can be challenging.

Pete Engelmann just called.   We caught up on our lives and now discuss our health.  He shared that one of our friends passed away.  May God rest Herbie’s soul.   The last twenty years were especially painful for him, so it is a blessing.

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Dancing in Dublin again

9/21/19 15:43 39,000 feet above the Atlantic

On my way back from Ireland.  I met Meli in Dublin.  Earlier last Thursday I arrived in Dublin and thought of getting down on my hands and knees and kissing the pavement, but that would have been too dramatic for the exhausted tourists and weary workers.  Get off there!  I was exhausted by the lack of sleep.  We flew in the night, under stars and turbulence, influenced by tail winds.  I peeked out from my window like a weak boxer in the final rounds, are we there yet?  Seeing Ireland under the grey clouds was a dream.  I have not been in Ireland since 1985.   Before heading back to the airport for the return flight back then, grandma wished me a safe trip. When my car keys fell in front of her, she said, out loud, Jaysus I hope that’s not a bad sign.  She died a couple of years after that.  

There is a five-hour time zone difference between Bethlehem, PA and Dublin.  Like a drunk fool, I decided that driving a stick shift, which I normally don’t drive was somehow feasible.   Getting into the opposite side of the car, the steering wheel, was opposite, different side of the road.  Trying to get the car into gear with my left hand, first and reverse were right next to each other, yet, somehow it would all work out?  After a couple of glasses of wine on the flight over, a lack of sleep, feeling a bit buzzed, somehow it would not be a death wish?  I made it to the Airbnb in Inchicore and only after calling the homeowner and going round his block three times, and meeting his neighbor who guided me to the house with a wave.  Over here you eydget.  I pulled into the driveway and we both noticed the smell emanating from the car.  Sure I farted a few times in the metallic beast.  She said, I was burning the gears.  After that she let me into house. The home alarm went off, cracking my ear drums with a deafening pulse.  She called one of the owners and we were in.  I made it.  I was in Ireland and looked at the small backyard.  A light rain came. I fell asleep for an hour or so.  Woke up and called Enterprise.  I wanted an automatic.  Driving down narrow roads which slide into one-way death traps was not my idea of spending a vacation in Ireland.  I made loose plans that day to have lunch with a colleague, but that was quickly erased since I had to drive back to the airport.  I drove back and was told how much more the costs would be.  I didn’t care, Meli and I had plans to drive around Ireland.  Let’s be clear at this point, I drove.  She pointed out lovely scenery, but even with an automatic, I hung onto the staring wheel with increased anxiety, especially after seeing a huge bus looming down the road or a tractor or an old woman standing too close to the road.  Yeah, I hit bushes on the side of the road, no old ladies, rammed the curbs a few times.  Each time getting into the car was an ordeal, first reminding myself I was getting into the right side of the car, sliding my knee under the steering wheel.  There was a sigh of relieve that I made it back to Enterprise in one piece, earlier today both the car and myself, and I am grateful I saw so many beautiful areas in Ireland.  I know both Meli and I will be back.  Let me look outside the window while I listen to Bob Dylan.      

We are crossing the tip of North America, some islands off the remote coast of Nova Scotia.  Meli is in Munich and may be getting into the Lufthansa airliner to take her back to Mexico City.  The last couple of days in Ireland have been sad since I knew she was going back to Mexico and I was heading back to the US.  Anyway, I’ll share more details as this progresses. 

Meli was in Sweden for work.  We had subtle plans to see each other in Sweden, but she thought it would be better to take a vacation in Europe. We looked at Spain and Portugal, but she suggested Ireland since it was one of the places she wanted to visit.  In comparison, Ireland is an expensive vacation, but we were conscientious, each night was a Airbnb which for most nights worked out for us.  One of the reservations could not host us, but a friend had room in her B&B.  That was a beautiful house and we were served a splendid breakfast with lots of coffee.  Waking up and seeing The Atlantic and the islands off the coast, the clouds slowly drifting over the slopes was a dream.  We could spend a few days in Dingle which is touristy and yet retains its character.  It is where I ordered our wedding rings which are beautiful.  I wanted to have a link between Ireland and Costa Rica. 

The light in Ireland as well as the air seemed clearer.  We sat across from one another at Trinity College and at the yard in Dublin Castle and were amazed at the light.   And we had the good grace since it did not rain on any of the days when we were together. 

We ate well.  I am still a vegetarian, but did eat some fish while there.  Actually the first day, I had fish and chips, but it was not very good.  I would have eaten card board and been satisfied.  Like I said, I picked up Meli at the airport.  Her flight was delayed and I fell asleep sitting at a small table for a few minutes.  When she came out of the terminal, I let her walk by and watched as she looked for me.  I walked up behind her and welcomed her to Ireland with a kiss just before midnight.

More to come…

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Happy Birthday

October 7, 2019 22:47 Bethlehem, PA

What’s it like to drive on the highway, in the rain, without any windshield wipers?  I thought of all the pilots who made serious errors and crashed. Thinking they could beat the weather or approaching storm or ignore the warning signs of a faulty engine.  They took the risk and paid for it with their lives or at least a serious injury for many.  Most crashes are due to pilot error.  I thought of this and when the rain was a faint drizzle, I was grateful, but when I crossed into this state, the rain was coming down hard.  Trucks were tossing back a wall of mist.  The rain was sliding off the windshield and there were some tricky areas on the road when I could not see that well.  I made it and can write about. What would have sucked would have been my gravestone, born on this date and died on this date.  Happy birthday to me.

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