Friday, November 22, 2019

Cultivating the goodness


11/22/19 10:59 Mexico City

It’s my love’s birthday today.  This first birthday we are spending together.  I love waking up next to Melissa, there is so much love.  Another example of the long distance relationship is savoring each morning. I am here.  Feeling better since I was buzzed from the wine last night.  I had a beer at the apartment, I was thirsty.  We strolled around the neighborhood last night. There was a vendor selling Christmas lights, men walking their dogs, joggers running around the park, men playing soccer or basketball.  And we bought water, made tea and fell asleep.  It’s warm here, 70 degrees, actually very warm at this time in the morning.  Ma and Pa called to sing happy birthday to Meli and she wants to call them later so we can have a chat.  Let’s see how that will work out.  Ma loves to chat, but only on her schedule, let me take that back.  There have been a few occasions when I would call and she would ask if I needed to talk, get whatever it was off my mind.  No, we are good.  I had one of those moments last night when we were leaving the airport, was I going to get fired?  I have this running monologue. I read an email and misconstrue it and let the false message or scene fester in the dark regions of doubt and fear.  Let me be blunt, it is low self-esteem.  It was one of those moments.  Meli was able to reassure me, but I need to reassure myself and fill my mind with positive attributions, look at the good I have caused. Look at the business I have brought to my company.  And it is only a start. Because, even the external influences can be limited.  Deep down I know I am the only one who can recognize my God given gifts.  Each of us has unique God given gifts that we can cultivate.  I love writing and hope this message can inspire – in spirit others.

Thank you for reading this.

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