Breathe in and let in God

3/18/20 23:06 Bethlehem, PA

Leaving my parent’s house was sad.  There was the sense that it could be the last time I saw my mother alive.  She came outside to see me off, blowing me a kiss and a God bless.  I love you.  Maybe she was trying to ask me to stay another night?  There was not the usual handshake from my father, no hug for Ma.  I drove off in my car with some groceries I had bought and intended to eat while staying there.  But I was done.  I spent two nights and their day to day activities and banal conversations were making me irritable.  I was working in a room upstairs and they’re yelling to one another – not fighting about some bullshit in plain English.  There is enough stress in the world, I reminded my son of this in a text.  He can read it here and so can you. There is enough unease and panic that erupts with each sneeze or dry cough and I can hear my roommate upstairs hacking.  The good news, I am away from my parents and the idea that I am a carrier or that one of us is sick in their house was too much.  Get out.  Before leaving, I made sure my sister, Eileen would buy them groceries, I did not want Dad out in the world and especially in a crowded supermarket, searching for a way to save a dime.   He is very frugal.  He did not balk or try to interfere when I said I spoke with Eileen who will take care of the shopping.  Yes.  Good idea.  That is done.  My other sister is holed up in her house for fear of the virus.  They have enough food and toilet paper for a couple of weeks.  I think she is alright.  I can call her.  I will call her.  I will call my brother and cousins as well.  This is a time to share our isolations and our vulnerabilities.  This will pass like a long wind which dissipates over the ocean.

Thank you for reading this.