Skip to main content

meditation







11/27/11 13:57
I’m sitting on the deck with a long sleeve shirt, not that I changed after church, instead I will wear the same clothes and just may change into some sweats. There is always work to do, earlier I gave Amanda a driving lesson I want her to lose her fear of driving; we drove in the parking lot at the train station and on the street which was quiet. Last night Amanda wanted to talk to Ali so I went to bed with Bella. Our sleeping patterns have changed since she came home from the hospital. The event was traumatic and something we never want to experience again. One of my worst fears came true that day, I never wanted to see anyone have a seizure, the fact they are not in control and appear possessed…Bella is fine, since she takes Keppra regularly. The neurologist said her epilepsy will go away as she ages, most likely in a couple of years she will not have any more seizures. They occur when she is sleeping and this is the reason why either Ali or myself sleeps with her. Most nights Ali falls asleep, taking her to bed so she is in the darkened bedroom by 9:30. There is no TV. When they were younger I would slowly rub their eyebrows till they would fall asleep and last night proved the same. The problem occurs when Ali or myself, come into the bed, there is not enough room in our queen for all of us. Last night I woke up a few times and finally at 3:30, came down to the living room for a few more hours of sleep. It was a broken sleep, interspersed with dreams which I don’t recall, one was a nightmare which I thought would make a good Stephen King novel, but it’s lost in my memories. Around seven I got out of the bed and went into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. I went outside, the air was foggy like my mind, the ground was moist and cool, I picked up the paper and went back in, not that any of my neighbors saw me, but I took in the sparse winter trees, the thick fog and heard a faint bird. Sunday mornings are somewhat hectic, today Emma was reading the first of advent services and will be reading at each consecutive Sunday, what does advent mean? The fact Jesus is coming. Our morning message was by Reverend Elaine and it was powerful, how we can call out for God and we’re not sure if he is there, how we get caught up in the busy holiday season and lose that inner voice that still is seeking…I was struck with when she referred to a theologian, whose name I don’t recall, that is was good to mourn, that if we don’t mourn we project a bitterness and hatred on the world. After the service I walked through the woods, smelled the sweet warm leaves and headed to the beach. It was mild enough for a stroll, a young couple with a black lab walked up from the woods and we greeted each other, the dog sniffed in my direction without a care assuming correctly I was not a threat. I took some pictures and appreciated the silence of the water. The wind was light and I meditated for close to twenty minutes, I sat in a lotus position on a washed up tree, the water barely broke into the shore, the tide crept into the grass carrying small fish and a light milky froth. My intention was to call out to God, why does my wife have to battle cancer? Why does my youngest daughter have epilepsy, instead I used my breath, let those thoughts pass and breathed in with my tongue on the roof of my mouth. What journey are we on? When will I learn some of the answers? Ali is going to chemo tomorrow. I hope to take the train and get to work on-time. I’m planning to go to Pennsylvania on Wednesday and hope to make it there…the last time I attempted a trip Bella was taken by an ambulance to the hospital.
“Our life is an endless journey; it is like a broad highway that extends infinitely into the distance. The practice of meditation provides a vehicle to travel on that road. Our journey consists of constant ups and downs, hope and fear, but it is a good journey. The practice of mediation allows us to experience all the textures of the roadway, which is what the journey is all about. Through the practice of meditation, we begin to find that, within ourselves, there is no fundamental complaint about anything or anyone at all.” Discovering Basic Goodness by Chogyam Trungpa

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Alabama Shakes brings down Carnegie Hall

March 25, 2017I apologize for the delay since I should have wrote this last weekend.  I’m trying to write a blog entry once a week.  Once a week.  That is all.  Yet, even the single entry can get tangled in other demands.  Writing is a discipline.  Either I have it or I get distracted or lost in other habits.  Anyway, here is my review of the Tibet House concert on March 16th…as always thank you for reading it.I was in Pennsylvania on business and yet I had tickets to see the show at Carnegie Hall.  When I bought the single seat – a few weeks back – I bought the most expensive - in the orchestra. I knew I had to write down the event my book since I would forget.  I had made plans with a client to visit the company and yet, even with the date marked down, I still forgot.  But, I was not going to miss this event.  The lineup was incredible, Iggy Pop, New Order, Alabama Shakes, Patty Smith, Laurie Anderson, and others and of course the esteemed composer Philip Glass.  It was a benefit co…

The American Pink Floyd Experience-Ameri-Floyd at 89 North Patchogue

07:54 2/15/15
I wanted to get in a review of The American Pink Floyd Experience (Ameri-Floyd) at 89 North a couple of weeks back.  I also wanted to write down some thoughts on the amount of Pink Floyd copy bands that play in the area.  This will be brief and I hope you can relate or share your thoughts.   If you are a Pink Floyd fan, the only feasible way to experience their music live - is through a cover band.  There are no plans for Pink Floyd to tour.  There is no reason for them to tour since there are many options to see these cover bands.  No matter where to live, you can rest your minds there is a Floyd cover band close by.  The band that played at 89 North was their first show, but they were solid and were close to perfect.  Ameri-Floyd are fused from two different Pink Floyd cover bands to form The American Pink Floyd Experience, not the be confused with the Brit or the Aussie Pink Floyd Experience and not to be further compared and contrasted with the The American Pink Floyd…

A short review of Henry Rollin's book Solipsist

This year my plan is to read most if not all of Henry Rollin's books.

I just finished Henry Rollins book Solipsist, 166 pages. I wanted to get in a few words – to share a brief review. Overall the book is solid. It is entertaining to a degree, but the sentences were boring. Almost all of the sentences began with I or me. Why not, take a look at the title, which means that the self is the only thing that can be known and verified. There were three segments I heard on some of his CD’s so they were not shocking and were different from the ego driven ejaculations on most the pages. Still, it’s a good book which drums up internal conflicts over and over again.