Christmas 2019 Tilaran, Costa Rica 20:17
We woke up together. Our first Christmas morning. It was early. We watched the end of a movie that we started last night. Got up and made pancakes for her parents, her mother had a difficult time letting me cook the pancakes, she wanted to help in her own way, but finally let me take the reins. Her father enjoyed the pancakes with an enchilada. The windows were open, letting in a warm breeze and somehow I felt different. This was the first Christmas in 34 years that I was away from the Gordon’s, but overall felt very welcome, loved and appreciated. Called Mom and Dad and sent texts to Dave, Eileen and Shea and Emma Tess. Meli and I played basketball. Helped with the bar-b-que, her grandparents came over. Her sisters and their significant others also came over. I am sitting in the bedroom alone, feeling tired and a little homesick. Meli can tell by my eyes that something is up. And I tried to explain. I am feeling frustrated with myself, for my lack of Spanish and the frustration the family must feel trying to include me in their games and conversations. Her father showed me his collection of cash from Central and South America, the different currencies, coins and we exchange a word here and there. Her mother also gets frustrated with herself when she does not know a word in English. Meli on the other hand can rattle off the words and hardly has a difficult time. I will study Spanish. Last night I thought, if I am serious, I need to learn the language, every day! Meli and I walked up to the church to pray in the chapel. On the way back, she asked if I was nervous about our marriage. The only thing, I am nervous about is my lack of Spanish since I have to say a few things in Spanish, like my vows. At least part of it. Everything will work out. I may a little tired, there is not a place I can go to, to have a few minutes with my thoughts and I am grateful for this opportunity to share a few things.
Gratitude: For a lovely family, for Meli, For my health, For my family back on Long Island, For sobriety
Thank you for reading this.