Sunday, September 30, 2012

Avoid The Master at all costs, waste of time and brain cells


Yesterday Ali and I went to see The Master. Each of us paid $5.00 which is a bargain thank you PJ Cinemas but Ali should have heeded the owners warning when Ali saw him on Friday. Not that good he said. How bad can it be? This is one man’s interpretation. Yet we had these high expectations, critics seemed to like it. What movie were they watching? Joaquin Phoenix and Philip Seymour
Hoffman were both over acting and trying to upstage the other. What was worse? Mr. Phoenix and the irritating way he spoke, what the fuck? His spoke through the side of his mouth with clenched teeth more often than not, mumbled his lines like they were ingredients of the industrial intoxicants which he abused - enough to kill most men. The opening scene was…disturbing. He’s in the Navy on the beach on leave, mixing pollutants into cut coconuts. A woman is made out of sand lays with legs open on the beach and he has sex with it. Then with his back turned he finishes the job into the sea. What were we watching? Then he’s a photographer in a department store and mixes the chemicals to drink. Fights one of his customers, ends up a migrant worker, mixes chemicals and kills a man who reminded him of his father. Running to freedom he is on the docks and finds a party on a yacht which takes off and he is wakes up to meet Mr. Hoffman as The Master. Hoffman refers to Phoenix as Boy, you’re just a boy. The man has grey hair, was this a miscast? And he has a girlfriend who is only sixteen? Seeing them on the bench - this older man with a girl was…creepy. Lord help me. None of the characters in this movie were appealing; they were either suffering from delusions of grandeur, misanthropes or sexual deviants. We should have gotten up and left, eventually we did before the ending. The movie had no plot or reason except to waste brain cells and time. I hate wasting time in a movie theater, especially when there is an old fart a couple of rows back snoring out loud. At least he enjoyed a dream. Avoid this movie. Who could give The Master three stars? Unless they were paid off.

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