6/8/15 20:21
Ever have one of those nights when you look around at the
new scenery and ask how did I end up here?
It happened to me last Saturday.
Let’s go back to the night before when I arrived back in Ronkonkoma , paid
for parking my car in the parking garage for the previous three days and took
the elevator to the top floor. The car
started and made a strange ripping metallic noise. The car was not popping out of park. Yes, it started I said since I called my mechanic
and asked what he thought? Could be the
shifter cable. Do you have a spare key? You can jam it down the shaft and unlock
it. I didn’t have a spare key, but I had
a long white plastic pen from Disney World.
It didn’t pop. Do you have
AAA? Yes. Give them a call and tow it here. OK, I called AAA and explained what
happened. The rep tells me he can’t send out a mechanic. We only fix flats and jump start or two. That’s alright, I tell him. I can send a tow truck, he says. I explain I’m in a parking garage and this
may be a problem. Why? He asked The ceiling is low. How low is the ceiling? I take him with me while he’s on the phone
back down to where I paid and asked the attendant, how low the ceiling was. I don’t know, but if you walk out to the
front of the building, there is a sign.
I walk out and see the sign and tell the representative it’s six foot
nine. That’s too short he tells me. I call my mechanic back. Well, we can go back in the morning and tow
it out of there. Do you have a ride
home? I do. I called Ali and finally got home around
eight. My dinner was cold, but so was
the beer. But this story doesn’t end
there. Saturday morning my mechanic is
busy, but later this afternoon, he should be free. At three o’clock I’m driving back to the
train station with his assistant, Nick who is quiet. In the back seat is a large brown lab. Nick
is quiet so I became the annoying customer, the crazy passenger he wished he’d
never had next to him. I ask him
pointless questions, where did you go to high school? How long have you been a mechanic? If you have an annoying passenger, you put
the radio on. Nick did not put the radio
on. Maybe he enjoyed the attention? I asked more questions until we made it to
the station and barely make it under the low ceiling in the Suburban with a U-Haul
car tow attached. I start the car. Nick opens the shift cover with a long screw
driver and unlocks the shift and gets the car in reverse. Do you want it towed? No, thank you. Did he want me next to him on the ride back? I drive back to the garage and my mechanic
goes to work. He tells me, I’ll call you
when it’s done. An hour or so passes
and I get the call. Ali drives me to the
bank where I get the cash. He asks, want
a beer? It was a warm day and I could
use a beer. Sure. I can drink one before dinner. There’s a kid cleaning out the bay and I
recall one of my first jobs when I was 14, cleaning out bays on a Saturday night
back in Northport. The scent of oil,
slicked concrete and the kitty litter which I’d use to dry up the oil and
grease. I left that place spotless. The
greasy little shit mechanic who did not clean up after himself had me fired
since the owner thought I left the shop a mess. The little shit came to school and told me I
was fired. I wanted to kick his ass. Back to last Saturday; my mechanic has boats
and motorcycles and an old truck which he converted into a hot rod. After a few…many… Bud Lites, tossing the
bottle caps and throwing the bottles in the trash, bull shitting about life and
music and more beers, it was time to have a contest. What kind of contest? Shoot the empty bottles with a pellet
gun. I have not shot a gun in a long
time, but I had a BB gun. I shot a 22 as
well as a cop’s service pistol in the parking lot at Shea Stadium (making sure
there were no jets approaching) Back to the contest…he tells me to use the
scope, but don’t let it get too close to your eye, “it will smack ya.” First shot was a miss. The second shot splattered the brown glass
bottle. I felt pretty good. Next we had a contest with actual paper bull’s
eye with points for each circle. The paper was stabled onto a wooden board. We put some money down. I lost the first round, but grabbed the loot
on the second and the sober Nick took the third. Can I drive your truck? Sure.
He’s leaning in the small cab and telling me not to fuck up his
truck. I was shivering, partly cause it
was a cold night and I didn’t want to rip the ferocious truck into a gas
pump. I floored it and made it back in
one piece. It was after ten and I
received a text? Hello? I’m hanging out I texted. We sang out loud to The Doors, Roadhouse
Blues, and whatever else came on. You
were in a band? I was in a band. It was a long time ago. I hung out for almost four more hours and
made my way back to my repaired car and bid my new friend a good night. When I got in Ali was sleeping. I thought I made it back and could tell her
in the morning, it was a late night and leave it at that. To my surprise I got up without a terrible hangover
and came to the kitchen. What time did
you get in? It was a late one, I said. Emma said it was either after 12 or 2 AM. Emma chimed in; I know there was a 2 when I
looked at the clock. The second one I
said and left it at that.
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