Thursday, October 24, 2019

It is a Quiet Night in ThiS HoUse


10/24/19 23:21 East Northport

Back at my parent’s house.  Back on the room I grew up in for a few years, shared with my brother.  I slept on one side and Dave slept on the other.  On the drive down, I had a chat with Emma Tess, and we made plans to see each other on Sunday night, she may take the next semester off.  Had a wonderful conversation with Mo Cheeks about the inner child in all of us.  I have not subscribed to this fully since I feel at a certain age I should be mature enough and old enough to lose the inner child.  This is a real dilemma considering what I wrote about last night and here are those feelings – emotions rising up again.  Not to the same degree as last night. I want to be aware of my inner child, the fear of abandonment, but honestly, I am alone for the most days.  I drive to work, eat alone and drive home and spend the night alone.  Yes, share a house with two other guys.  But I really don’t feel alone.  Meli and I share brief moments, even a short call or FaceTime is enough since often we are joking. And like a knock or the silence, it is there.  Maybe we are going through another phase?  As I wrote last night, I can choose to feel miserable, wallowing in self-pity or I can choose to appreciate this time to write and get my thoughts down.  This too shall pass.

Thank you for reading this

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